Allegra Dubus-Brandolini

 

 

Toast

I’ve always been an observer.
Like the moon watched the sun shine across the earth basking in its beauty and everything that gets to feel its gentle kiss.
I observed the buds blooming on our lilac tree in the front yard and as I smelled them, they cradled my little chubby face and said
“Don’t worry, I’m coming.”
I observed seconds becoming minutes, becoming hours, becoming days, becoming months, becoming years.
1
2
3
4
5
6
I observed the ground becoming further away and the ceiling just out of my reach.
I observed you, mom, staring off into the distance, as if you were nearing a black hole and were climbing into its depths, leaving me chasing behind you screaming “Wait, I want to come too!”
I want to come too.
When I let those words escape my mouth, while dad was away, your eyes became big and soft, and suddenly there was no black hole, but a forest, and you and I were traveling hand in hand.
Hand in hand.
I observed the anxious feelings bubbling up when you realized we were on our own, but to me, I felt as if we were astronauts floating from one planet to the other, waiting to find our galaxy.
I observed your tears, when you thought I wasn’t looking
But you should know by now, I’m always looking
I observed your fear, your frustration, your anger.
But mostly, I saw your heart.
This big beautiful bleeding heart that was just pumping and breathing for love.
Now your heart has found its partner.
A place to rest its head when it all becomes too much.
A person to dance with in the kitchen on a normal Monday afternoon.
Someone to make you snort when you laugh.
Before him, I never heard you snort.
You have found your partner.
The king to your queen.
The astronauts have retired. They have finally found their home. It was not a heaven per say, but a safe haven made up of talking over movies, laughing while eating crêpes and jam, and music.
Lots of music.
Mom, we have finally found our galaxy
And I observed it all.

 

 

Allegra Dubus-Brandolini is a senior in high school. When she is not writing, she is busy acting, dancing, and singing. She plans on continuing her study of writing in college.

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