Colin Cross has achieved a childhood ambition


as a young child
at primary school
in the New Forest
I was fascinated
by the large lorries
with large suction attachments
you used to come
to the school
every week
to pump out
the school toilets
and one day
I went home
and told my parents
when I grew up
I wanted to be
a lavatory man
having spent much
of my adult life
working shitty jobs
for crap pay
I walk two dogs
for an elderly
friend of mine
this involves
picking up their shit
and it makes me
feel good to know
that in my
early sixties
I have finally
at least partially
my childhood ambition

* Colin Cross lives in Norwich and is a regular IS&T contributor


  1. Anonymous

    Hah! So true! :)) Axxx

  2. Anonymous

    Thanks for the prompt Colin. I reckon I'm down to the last bog roll. Probably have to slip out and get a four pack. I could buy a couple beers too. Why waste good lucre on newspapers and then waste all my time cutting them into squares? Roll on the bog roll! Prosit, Colin!

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