Thomas McColl




For assuming that I am the most important person in the human race, the gods have announced demotion of my I to lower case.

i have not been told when this will take place, but by stating that, i realise now there is no need. i have begun my sentence in the previous sentence.

The gods and Descartes in Nirvana have decreed i think (only of myself), therefore i am (no longer denoted by a capital i).

i cannot hear the difference, but i can see the gods have made me half the i i used to be.

i, Claudius. Damn! The gods are not fooled by an alias.

How vain must e.e. cummings have been, to pay so dearly for his crime?

The gods have informed me i will be allowed an exclamation mark for good behaviour while i am serving out my time.

An i followed by an exclamation mark is almost a capital i, just once removed.

As soon as my application to be the most important person in the human race has been approved, i’ll demand back my capital i complete with exclamation mark as compensation, so everyone can clearly see the gods at last are pleased with me.



Thomas McColl has recently been published by Bare Fiction, Smoke, the Belleville Park Pages, the Next Review and Geeked, and also came 2nd in 4’33 Magazine’s 60 second story contest. He has a twitter account: @ThomasMcColl2

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